What Were They Thinking Tuesday: Ball Buster

Honestly, what the hell were they thinking? This could go under the Simple 70s Games tag, as it’s about as simple as it gets, you have a bunch of balls on sticks, and move them around the board and try to hit as many opponents balls as possible.

But to be serious, we can’t tag it that way. It’s a full-on question mark of a game made entirely out of what-the-effery, designed to be useless within five days of play as balls fly off the sticks and get lost in the gap in the sofa. If you enjoyed playing this as a kid, I doff my cap to you, but there was no way it could keep me entertained for more than a rainy afternoon.

You’re better off with Ker-Plunk.

Having Trouble Selling Your Product? Naked Hippie Chicks Work Everytime

It’s true. If it wasn’t for Ace Combs, we wouldn’t be able to rock the Fu Manchu ‘tache, cover our Bristols with nothing but hair, enjoy our four foot long combover or… Wait… There’s no way Foxy Brown used that comb to frizz out her afro. It would take her all day and hurt like a mofo! What were they thinking?

Listen Foxy, forget Ace Combs, and those hippies to your right. They’re no good to you. They don’t know you like I know you. You need to get your bad self one of these:

You’re damn right.

Southwest Airlines commercial circa 1972

Remember what it was like when airlines advertised to rich people with what amounted to “Fly us, get laid”?

Good Lord, woman, I can see your va-jay-jay from here, and I’m 36 years away! Put some trousers on, girl! Oh, but don’t shake forget to “shake my martini” first, there’s a good lass. I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you with our typing pool manager.

It’s That Shirt

As a fan of the funky jazz techno group, I was chuffed to find this, the That Shirt commercial from 1971, along with others from that time, as sampled in the Brainwashed This Way/Zombie/That Shirt track from Meat Beat Manifesto. All a little before my time, but they’re a good indicator of what my experience of growing up in the 70s was like. Richard Burton growling about shirts, DJ Jimmy Saville telling us to Clunk-Click every trip, and sexy secretaries in round-the-clock tights. And who could resist wearing a tie that comes in both terylene and crimplene?

Ah yes, the brown 70s of my youth. Just wanted to remind you all why I’m more fond of the California truckin’ 70s than the real one I actually lived through. Shudder!

70′s Toy Commercials

I have a vague memory of Bing Bang Boing, or something similar from the mid-70s. But seriously, how many of those ball bearings are you going to lose under your leather couch before you give up trying to learn the laws of physics the had way?

That waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sound takes me back some, though. SSP Racers, the closest us 6 year olds would ever get to drag racing, and suddenly the most useless toy when you lose that T-stick.

Can’t say much about the slip-n-slide that hasn’t been said before. I didn’t have one, didn’t know anyone who had one, and it would been useless anyway as we all had concrete back yards where I grew up. Looks like fun, though. Anyone who damn near killed themselves on one of things? Feel free to add your comment.