Scary 70s Thursday: Men in Giant Psychedelic Animal Suits

You’re being chased through the woods by a man-sized fuzzy blue lion, who sings psychedelic Beatles songs at you while you run. An orange monkey, a tiger with an eyepatch, and a green dog wearing a big brown hat capture you in a massive net, then implore the lion, whose name is Rory, to read aloud a story to you. If you’ve never woken up from either this particular nightmare in a pool of sweat, or anything like it, you probably didn’t grow up in the late 60s to early 70s, and completely missed out on the weekly (sometimes even daily) man-sized furry freakshows that were a mainstay of children’s television. You think you had it hard with the Teletubbies, and thought that baby in the sun thing was trippy… You haven’t seen what happens when the Teletubbies and the Wiggles get together and get laid while on horse tranquilizers…

Animal Kwackers sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

It’s a pretty simple rendition, actually, also found on their Animal Kwackers LP which I had as a child. Bongo, Rory, Twang and Boots play a happy melody written by the greatest rock and roll band ever in the world, and it just happens to be about being on LSD. I utterly loved this when I was a kid, and no amount of Just Say No campaigns later on as a teenager could remove the glory that was Animal Kwackers telling me to drop acid. None. So the good news is that when I finally do, I may actually be able to understand:

H. R. Pufnstuf

Technically this, and the following group of six-foot, two-legged monsters, were really made in the 60s, but their shows ran into the 70s and were on continual rerun throughout my decade. I never got to see the series of H. R. Pufnstuf, but did see the movie, and boy, between this, Hanna Barbera’s version of Alice In Wonderland (or What’s A Nice Kid Like You Doing In A Place Like This?), and The Phantom Tollbooth, you never actually have to say no to drugs. It’s all right there, on the screen, man!

Anyhoo. Pufnstuf’s name’s a complete give away. He lives on Living Island, where, you know, wow, everything’s alive, man, he calls everyone dude, dude. His friend Jimmy, the only true human on the show, is transported there by a magical talking flute. Not, you know, James Galway‘s magical golden flute, but one that talks, man. It’s all, you know, wow, man… etc.

Not this flute, the one that TALKS!

Also notice that the title sequence is one minute forty-nine seconds. That’s just for you guys at the back who zoned out halfway through the last show and couldn’t remember what the hell it was about, or had some fight about ‘bogarting’ or somesuch.

The Banana Splits

There ain’t much that can be said about this wacky foursome that hasn’t been said before. Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper and Snorky are the godfathers of six-foot psychedelic critterdom. (Fun Banana Splits fact: All the outside scenes in series one were filmed at Six Flags Over Texas theme park, by future director of Superman, Richard Donner.) Essentially The Banana Splits, a combine of the talents from Hanna Barbera and Sid & Marty Krofft who also created Pufnstuf, was a live-action cartoon. It used all the well-known Hanna Barbera sound effects and sight gags, and what’s best is that there’s absolutely no attempt to make the character’s mouths move. So there’s a lot of talking by creatures who grin like stoners or run around with their tongues sticking out like wasted junkies. So, sit back and enjoy The Banana Splits in all their wonderfully wacky-backy glory.

Now, thanks to the internet, these guys would be considered the godfathers of furrydom and I’m surprised there isn’t some ultra-not-actually-sexy slash-fic written about them by basement bound 37 year-olds.

You know… Thinking about it… That doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all… Time to start flexing those slash-fingers!

Cooler in the 70s: Station Wagons

Back in the days before people travelled around in off-road vehicles that are too low to go off-roading in, and military vehicles that the military wouldn’t touch with a no-bid contract, American moms reached their right hands back to smack their kids in the back seat of station wagons. Station wagons lack many of the features of the SUV and MiniVan we have come to know and love today – the in-car entertainment system was not a multi-disc DVD Player, but an AM radio, with a built-in 8-track player if you’re lucky, and the GPS system consisted of a dad who refused to stop to ask for directions. Dual zone air conditioning was provided by allowing the back windows to roll down as well as the front, and unlike an SUV, you could actually see past it if you were backing out of a parking spot next to one.

Unlike an SUV and even some MiniVans, a station wagon was never, ever, cool. But they were incredibly useful hiding up to 8 children if they lay flat in the back. In the UK, we had similar cars that about 2/3 the size and were called Ford Granada Estates.

On of the characteristic features of a station wagon, that for a while held over into the realm of the minivan is wood paneling. Why designers felt that a stretched out version of a sedan needed a fake wooden patch over the side and back, I’ll never know, but there it is above on the Chevy Caprice.

And again, below on the Chrysler Town and Country.

The Town and Country, of course, is now a minivan.

Oh, look! A 1978 Dodge Monaco!

The way this one’s parked, it looks like they were designed to blend into the suburban environment.

Someone had the audacity to name this one the Plymouth Gran Fury:

And, just for the record, here’s the heretoforementioned Ford Granada Estate, from my own personal childhood. I didn’t have one, mind, I was running around in a Triumph Dolomite, but back in 70s swinging London, you couldn’t spit without hitting one of these.

Thin White Duke Learns Karate

There’s something really cute about this clip. Check Bowie’s reaction to the karate guy when he fakes punching David in the testicles. Poor Bowie just loses it.

And then there’s the

Wait a minute. That’s David Bowie! And they’re teaching him karate moves! It just doesn’t get cooler than that!

Who Am I?

Apparently, I’m Lou Fricking Reed.

Outtasight!

Which rad old school 70′s glam icon are you? (with pics)

You’re Lou Reed.God, you are cool, can I touch you so the magic will rub off?You are perceptive, witty, and badass. You wear cool shades, even at night, and probably wear black more than most people. You don’t give a fuck what other people think, but you are also very sensitive in the way that you pick up on things that others don’t. Sometimes you come off as an asshole, but that’s what makes you cool. You are a poet, and you embody New York City. You will still be hip when you are old, and artists love you.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code